Archive for August, 2004

Note to my new ‘friend’ (you’ll know who you are):

Saturday, August 7th, 2004
  • Calling me at 7:30 *AM* to ask if I wanna hang out Saturday night is SUCH not the cool thing to do.
  • I have a boyfriend. Not trying to be presumptuous, just thought it’s something you should know.
  • People who do searches on me on the internet give me the creeps. I do shit like that too, so I get it, but least if you’re gonna do it, don’t tell me about it, or I will think you are creepy. Got it?
  • Sewing IS NOT the same thing as knitting.
  • I can’t hang Saturday. I’m going to Mexico.

Now why am I posting this here instead of calling you back? I’m not trying to be rude, I just don’t have the time, and I’m cranky (probably for having been woken up at 7:30am and forced to listen to my voicemail thinking that it *must* be something important if someone is calling me at that unGODLY hour.) Plus, I lost your number. Please don’t take it personally.

Beware though, the life-sized ELMO you text-messaged me about may *look* cute and fuzzy, but it’s really a fierce, trained attack-puppet, and if you creep me out anymore, I may have to sic him on you.

to my other reader(s):

I’ll catch up with you all when I get back!!! :) I’m working an earlier shift the entire week I get back, so I get to go to meetup and STAY AS LONG AS I WANT!!! WOOO! heh. I may even have extra time to work on my coming-someday-soon website!! Have a great week!

DOWN WITH BUSH!

Thursday, August 5th, 2004

There will be no knitting content today. TODAY, we will discuss a topic that may hit close to home for many during these hot, sticky summer months:

THE REMOVAL OF VA-GIN-A HAIR BY MEANS OF HOT MOLTEN WAX

I had never experienced this before. I think, actually, that I had sworn off even the POSSIBILITY of participating in such an activity. HOWEVER, I am about to go on a trip to Mexico with about 30 other people who, I AM SURE, don’t really want to wait around for me everyday so that I can tend to my ‘special garden’. Thus, I went to have said ‘garden’ removed. Well, most of it. Temporarily anyway.

As I put on disposable panties and laid down in the teeeny tiny room next to two HOT, golden, menacing VATS of wax, the thought, “What the HELL have I AGREED to?!” floated through my mind, but, now that I have popped my wax cherry (so to speak), I feel the need to share with you my thoughts on this procedure.

  1. OW!
  2. I can honestly say that at one point, I wanted to cry and call out for my mommy, but didn’t, because that would make me *such* a pussy.
  3. I think it would make the experience so much easier if they would tack pictures of fuzzy little kittens on the ceiling (and, well, if they would DRUG you)
  4. I used to be pretty sure that no one but my boyfriend would ever see me naked from the waist down with my ankles by my ears. Who knew?
  5. Anyone with an excessive amount of body hair should come with a warning sign right above their crotch that reads something to the effect of “PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT REPRODUCTION WITH THIS INDIVIDUAL MAY RESULT IN UNUSUALLY HAIRY OFFSPRING” Had this been the case back in 1968, my Armenian mother would not have married my Indian father and I would have been spared much pain.
  6. I often yell at her for this.
  7. Unfortunately, if this rule ever were to take effect, I would be a bearer of said sign.
  8. Oooohhh, my poor, poor unborn children. I am soo sorry my babies…
  9. I really think I should run around in nothing but my panties for the next 2-3 weeks because I can! Really. Otherwise it would be such a waste!
  10. Like is often said about childbirth, I have since forgotten the pain (HA!). I now look lovingly at my amazon-free vagina, and think (almost) fondly of the next time I might have the (dis)pleasure of going through it all over again.
  11. No, really, it wasn’t that bad!

{sigh}

My reward for this? V A C A T I O N ! Beaaauuuuti-ful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico!

:)

PS – Naturally, there will be no posts here from 8-7 through 8-15. HA! Do you get the irony of that? hee. I crack myself up.

PPS – The second socklette is coming along *quite* nicely, as I have been spending a lot of time on the metro lately (it’s my metro project) YAY SOCKLETTE! The bikini is slow-coming, but I hope to finish it WHILE IN MEXICO, so I can wear it IN MEXICO, since I bought it FOR MEXICO! The iPod cozi that’s a gift? Plane ride. It WILL get done ;)

PPPS – think you were gonna read about something else from the title? Yeah, well, that too!