First, I’d like to thank ALL OF YOU for all of the amazingly encouraging comments you left last post!!! I swear I wasn’t fishing for compliments, but compliments you gave!!! I still think most of you are crazy, but maaaaybe you’re not! We’ll see…

Now, about 45 minutes ago, I started writing this really witty, funny, brilliant post about my Sweater Adventures this weekend. Unfortunatley, I’m an IDIOT and hit the wrong button and totally deleted the whole thing (oh, you’ve heard that one before? no kidding! huh.)

The entry was all about how The Sweater is this evil force that likes to torment me and force me to love it and then, when I’m totally unsuspecting, SLAP me with the bitter sting of disapointment! Sure enough, THEN, it’ll start whispering sweet nothings in my ear, telling me how SORRY it is, and how DIFFERENT it will be if I Just. Give. It. Another. Chance. What’s so sad is that every time, I just get sucked back in.

SoSoSad.

(wait, we’re still talking about the sweater right? hmm.)

This is the farthest The Sweater got this weekend:

You can’t see it in this picture, but I’m making the saddest pouty face ever!

THAT SLEEVE IS ENORMOUS!!! I don’t know what happened! I even picked up 4 stitches LESS than the pattern said to pick up and it’s STILL HUGE!

One look at that thing, and I had to rip it out. This is AFTER The Sweater and I made up after having a fight about how it didn’t want its back kitchnered to its front (or maybe it was more about how I was being all arrogant about how I can learn new things and execute them (nearly) perfectly the first time and then F*%K it up all to HELL the second time around). Of course, THAT was after the OTHER fight we had where The Sweater said I had shoulders the size of a gorilla’s and I told it that I am a dainty little thing and if we didn’t rip back a few rows, we couldn’t be friends anymore.

Here’s another view, in case you aren’t convinced:

oh. my. god. HUGE.

And this is where The Sweater stands now:

Since this picture was taken, the rest of the sleeve has been ripped out as well. Oh! And uh, yeah, I was wearing the sweater backwards in the previous pictures. You can stop laughing now.

This is the point where I apply to you Knitting Gurus for help!

What do I DO?!?!!?

Do I just pick up even less stitches for the sleeve? The pattern said to pick up 28. I originally picked up 24. Do I try 20? Or, is the armhole just too big? I checked the measurements against the schematics and it *seems* to be about 1-3 cm off (changes every time I measure). It’s about a 9in armhole. Back when I was planning to make Rogue last Spring ( and then put it off for this Winter), I measured all my favorite, close-fitting sweaters, and they all had about an 8in armhole. Maybe a 9in is ok? IIII don’t know. Here is a pic of it:

There’s nothing like a pic of my pit, is there?

What do you think?

{{sigh}}

I leave you today with a list of things I leaned over the Thanksgiving Holiday:

• I think my mother might think I love The Sweater more than I love her, due to some unfortunate obsessive knitting that occurred in her presence.
• It might actually be possible to get tipsy from a Sweet Potato Casserole. Apparently, half a cup of Grand Marnier doesn’t burn off in the oven.
• Everyone Loves Raymond is a really freakin’ funny show! Even after 5 consecutive hours! Seriously.
• If I have to put 2 sugars in my tiny cup of tea at the Chinese Restaurant, I should maybe consider the idea that I may have a problem.
• Victoria’s Secret knows what size/style of bra I like and purposely doesn’t carry it in any of their retail store locations.
• If you spend an entire day playing with a 1-year-old child and wake up the next morning unable to move, it might be a good indicator that you are sadly out of shape.
• Dreaming about Chad Michael Murray puts me in a damn fine mood! That is, until about two hours later, when I remember he’s engaged to Sophia Bush.
• KITCHNER!
  
  Not bad for a first try! (I’m *so* not showing you the second, don’t even ask!)

peace out y’all.

ps – Is this a bad time to point out that there are only 24 more days till Christmas?

You Are Mashed Potatoes

Oridnary, comforting, and more than a little predictable You’re the glue that holds everyone together.

Although I’m offended at how boring it makes me sound, I guess it’s kinda true

Besides, Mashed potatoes are TASTY. Aww yea!

Happy Thanksgiving y’all!!!

I have a short attention span.

A *very* short attention span.

When I first began to knit, the only things I ever knit were super-chunky 2-needle mittens and teeny-tiny baby booties. That was all I made. Over and over. For like, three years. If it took more than an hour, my answer to you was, “Hell NO.”

I have a very short attention span.

While my knitting repertoire has grown and flourished in the last year and the list of Things I Knit has expanded greatly, there is still one major knitted item I have yet to tackle — THE SWEATER.

Sweaters require time and patience — a combination that clearly doesn’t get along well with my short attention span. But still…it’s something I want to do.

Ironically, my original first choice for a sweater was Rogue. I kid you not. I bought the pattern, the yarn — everything! But, that was last spring and, truth be told – no one needs a wooly, hooded sweater in the summertime. So I put it off…

Then, I stumbled over to Froggy’s and saw this:

The Green Ribbed Sweater from Rebecca 20

LOOK! CUTE! CHUNKY! QUICK!

Not only did I totally fall in love with it, BUT it looked like the fastest knit in the east! I mean damn!

Thus began The Great Green Sweater Experiment.

I bought the magazine. I bought a substitute yarn. I even bought *two* pairs of 35US addi turbo 32″ circulars!! (Yes 2. and YES, 35s!!!!).

So now, let’s discuss how The Great Green Sweater Experiment may turn into what I now like to call The Great Green Sweater Disaster. Here are some of the problems:

1. The Price – oh god, please lets not talk about how much I spent on all this stuff, please?
2. The Needles – Have you ever knit with 35s? They are the most unwieldly things ever created for use by a knitter. If I didn’t need the hand at the end, I would almost say it would be easier to chop of my arm and knit with that. Just to give you an idea, here is a needle comparison, ala Michelle:
   
   Those are the 35s at the top, followed by 17s, 11s, 6s and then 1s

3. The Yarn – Elann lied. Ok, maybe not, but there is no evidence anywhere on that page of this:
   
   It’s uber chunky in some spots, practically DK in others! WTF?

   The funny/ironic/stupid thing is that originally I thought I ordered WAY too much yarn because I ordered it based on the weight and not the yardage (this was because, at the time, I didn’t know the yardage of the recommended yarn, just the weight-per-ball) Turns out that even though the super-soft weights half as much, it’s nearly the same yardage. So I thought I had enough yarn for *2* sweaters!

   Except.

   When I tried to knit on 35s with the lovely thick n’ thin stuff I stupidly bought, I got fabric that resembled something more like LACE than a chunky sweater. My solution? Double it (good thing I bought twice as much, eh?)

   I swatched, I checked gauge. It seemed to match. OK! ON WE GO!

Guys, I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the needles. Maybe it’s a lack of yarn-substitution skills. Maybe I just suck at knitting — This thing just isn’t coming out all pretty like the picture

The one good thing is that it *seems* like it’s gonna fit.

Hey, did you notice how the color kinda resembles soggy asparagus? ROCK ON! (I left that off the list of problems, but yeah…NOT the color I thought I was getting.)

Now before you start going,”aww, Lara, that doesn’t look bad at all!,” Look at the close-up:

Ain’t so pretty, is it?

{{sigh}}

So, will The Experiment be successful?!? Or will it really be The Great Green Sweater Disaster??! Tune in Tuesday for an *exciting* update!

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Folks, for the past two hours, I thought The Blog was gone.

I mean G. O. N. E.

I mean replaced by:

I don’t believe you’ve installed wp. Try install.php

A. Blank. White. Page. GONE.

…

I have never been sosososososo very happy to see Pepto-Bismol Pink in MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE!!!!

While I’m very proud of the fact that I fixed it all by my little self (which, let me tell you, was no small feat involving mySQL and shell accounts or lack thereof and MyISAM tables and user permissions and all kinds of #%*)#% other stressful tidbits), all I really care about is the fact that THE BLOG IS BACK, BABY! YESSS!

Right here, right now, I solomnly swear to make one promise to you…

I WILL NEVER HIT ‘UPGRADE’ AGAIN.

Come back later for the 411 on the Great Green Sweater Experiment/Disaster?, k?

Because you CAN!

THE BLOG IS BACK!