Archive for August, 2005

Sweet Cherry Pie

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005


My sister.

A bit of a smart ass, that one.

Wanna see what she gave me when I went back to LI?

Lara Bars.

We all remember how I feel about Lara Bars, don’t we?

HAR HAR, Sharon!

I told her I wouldn’t try them unless SHE tried them FIRST.

Now we know how SHE feels about Lara Bars.

I will say that the Cherry Pie flavor is not AS nastilicious or puketastic as the Chocolate Coconut Chew. It was alllmost even GOOD. Almost. Almost as in… NOT.

My mom will tell you otherwise though. She housed the thing. She couldn’t get ENOUGH of Lara.

(who ever CAN though, eh? )



(I crack myself up!)


Would you believe there was actually COOKING chez vibegrrl? THERE WAS! Lookie:


That would be rice pilaf (with yogurt — dont ask me where I got that one), garlic-lemon squash, and pork chops with a yogurt-dill sauce (LOVE me that yogurt, apparently). And fresh salad with a lemon-parsley-dill-sumac dressing. OH! and wine. Can’t forget the wine.

Ahhh, the joy of cooking for one. I’ve been eating this for three days now :)

Sometimes one gets a bit lonely, you know?

I had a dream last night where this guy I know confesses that he loves me. I keep having this dream — I think this is the second or third time now. Every time, for the first 5 seconds after I wake up, I believe the dream is totally real and that it’s this HUGE revelation, but then I come to and remember how NOT true it is. One time I think he even left his bride at the alter for me! I’ve also had the REVERSE dream, where I realize I’m in love with him.


It would make one helluva story though…

…one of those timeless, tell-the-grandkids stories.


This is what happens to a girl who stays single too long. Her mind starts making up stupid shit!

I’m LOSIN’ IT, people!

Lessons of Love, Blood and Cutie Babies!

Monday, August 29th, 2005

Re-reading that title, it *almost* sounds like I’m about to give you an entry all about the joys of childbirth.

Don’t worry.

I promised I wouldn’t show anyone those pictures, so…

What I AM gonna tell you about is how I MEANT to post from Long Island, I did, but I ended up learning that it’s really hard to blog when there is a 2-year old who wants to play with you every waking minute between 8am and 9pm and bury you under stuffed animals and cover you in Blue’s Clues stickers.


What else did I learn in the last week?


  • Ashley really loves Wapples and Boo Coo PaPa*. I’m actually quite fond of wapples myself :)

  • Boys from Canada suck, especially if they’re from Scarborough. Joanne told me this. I didn’t believe her. I learned quickly.
  • There are places on Long Island that make it seems like you are HOURS away from reality. Why the hell didn’t I notice that when I LIVED there?

  • NEVER, never EVER, EVER EVER take out your nostril scew. Like, EVER. Unless it’s Life-or-Death HAVE TO. Fail to heed this warning and I guarantee there will be crying, bleeding, swelling and just general freaking out.
  • Sometimes, people actually USE the things you’ve knit them! How crazy is THAT!?!?!?

  • Don’t feed a nursing mother squash for dinner.That is, unless you HATE her AND her baby and wish to cause them a night of gassy, colic-y sleeplessness.**
  • Knit-gift recipients don’t always appreciate the extensive photo shoots you subject them to. Sometimes they express their discontent.

    don’t see what I mean? look closer:

  • WHICH REMINDS ME! I HAVE AN FO!!!! Check it:

    Knit with Rowan All-Seasons Cotton on size 6US addi-natura circs. (0-3month size)

    Modeled by the lovely Bananahead!

    Ain’t she cute?

    Here is the side view…

    …and one more for fun :)

    It’s a pretty quick ( and FUN!) knit if you stay focused! I fudged the intarsia bits and, well, the sewing-in of the pockets could have been WAY better, but I sorta said screw it. If I’d waited to fix it, she would have OUT-GROWN the thing before I could give it to her***!

so, YAAAAY! FO!!! WOO!!!!!

All-in-all, the trip to NY was fun and tooo short :(

I MISS MY BABY NIECES!!!! (and uh, the rest of the fam too ;) **** )

It’s ok though, I’ll see them all next month at the Christening. :)

*waffles and Blue’s Clues Pasta
**or like, unless you don’t know better. But now you do, so you can’t use that excuse.
***besides, they were my first patch pockets. I think they came out good for my first time :)
**Remind me to show you the little gift my sister bestowed upon me. So thoughtful (uh? no? HA!)

Knitting, Knitting and MORE KNITTING!

Thursday, August 18th, 2005

This, my friends, is officially a KNIT blog.

Therefore, one might assume KNITTING goes on here.



Unfortunately, there has been little in the way of PROOF of this lately.

Therefore, I bring you THIS little photo display:

Bananahead’s Baby Beanie ©, take 2.
I wanted to knit up a proper prototype of the pattern (you know, one that would’ve FIT) before I write it up. I jsut have to knit the little bow and PRESTO! FO!

Baby Project #2
I was gonna take the month of Aug. off from Baby knits, but my sneaky friends and family have decided to bust out and baptise their children in SEPTEMBER instead of OCTOBER (when I thought they were gonna). pffth! Back to baby knits…


Yeaaaaah! You’re not seeing things. That looks a helluva lot like MY ROGUE!!! She’s BACK IN ACTION, YO!

I wanna finish her in time to wear her to Rhinebeck, so I gotta get crackin’. Unfortunately, since baby project #2 is on the front burner, I think that means that R2 tasty gets reshelved until NEXT Spring. (plus, I was knitting her on Crystal Palace Bamboo circs and I *just* realized how much those suck, but I don’t wanna bust out and buy some addi turbos for it, so screw it, ok?) I can only have two major projects going at once, dude. I get overwhelmed.

How happy was Rogue to be out of the dusty reject bag?


I SWEAR, that’s how she naturally arranged herself on the carpet. SERIOUSLY! SHE LOVES ME!

awww :)

(I love you too, Rogue!)

There is, of course, also a certain Baby Knit which is now an FO which I have yet to SHOW you. That is because, this Saturday, I will be seeing the recipient IN PERSON and figured it is better to hand-deliver it :) (this way I can force the thing ON the child and take lots o’ pics, ya?*)

So, check back next week for those, when I blog at’cha from lovely LONG ISLAND! WOO!!!!

Crap, it’s 2am. I better get my ass home and to sleep!!!

4 deer, 3 strippers, 2 slurpees, one fun arcade and NO HOT GUYS ANYWHERE.

Monday, August 15th, 2005

It all started TUESDAY, when Joanne’s jack-ass prick of loser boyfriend dumped her ass all the way from Canada. Fucktard. Anyway, we decided that she needed to get OUT.

Coincidentally, that day, a hot, Sleazy Italian Exterminator* had hit on her at her apartment complex and told her to swing by Dave & Buster’s this weekend. Apparently, he works there, and wanted a piece, so he said if she came by, he’d hook her up (I BET HE WOULD!)

We decided that the best way to get over a jack-ass prick of a loser boyfriend is to hook up with a Sleazy Italian Exterminator.

Makes sense, right?

Add in Gillian (who got stood up the night before), and you’ve got three frustrated girls out on the town on a Saturday night.

At Dave & Buster’s.

I know.

We’re rockstars.

As for Mr. Sleazy Italian Exterminator? Nowhere to be found. However, Joanne forgot all about him when she discovered the wonder that IS the D&B Midway. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get so excited about those little prize tickets!!! ;)

Unfortunately, D&B closes at 1am.

What the hell do three cute now-single girls do when trapped in suburbia at 1 o’clock in the morning?



We loiter in the parking lot of 7-11 and drink slurpees.

You’re so impressed with how cool I am right now, aren’t you?

This is around the time when, for whatever reason, Joanne busts out with, “So, where ARE all the strip clubs around here, anyway?,” which got Gillian remniscent of all the nights she spent club-hopping with cute gay boys and she starts naming a few places she’d been to which then got ME remembering this one where my friend’s ex-boyfriend used to strip.**

A gay strip club where the boys don’t wear much of anything at all.

Really? They’re naked.***

All Joanne had to hear was NAKED and we were off, at now 2am, on a quest to find this place. (I say ‘quest’ cause liiiike, not only did we NOT know how to get there, but getting there involved driving through neighborhoods where people generally disappear and are found three days later floating face down in the river.)

NOT ONLY did we FIND IT (an hour later), but, it was THE most awesomely skanky dive EVER! Tinsel curtains, gay porn playing on at least 15 tv screens (with titles like BLACK & WHITE WORKOUT), a glassed-in stripper shower (wet boys towelling off IS kinda hot), a unisex bathroom (FUN!), three strippers (including one named MOCHA who payed SPECIAL attention to Joanne) and a bar LOADED with poles for boys to dance on!!!

I had more sweaty ass and flaccid penis shaken in front of me than I will ever need for the rest of my life. (I may have seen more guy on guy on guy action than I wanted to as well…)

Now it’s 3am, the strip club has kicked us out and we’re still three girls looking for amusement.

Flashback to earlier in the night: Joanne is telling me about this site. I tell her I’ve seen it before on Dooce, and that she knows that guy and that back-in-the-day, she thought he’d get snatched up and married RIGHT QUICK because , “Mormon meat like that doesn’t last very long among ravenous, flesh-eating coeds who will tell you on the first date that God himself has revealed that YOU ARE THE ONE, but please, you can kiss me with tongue and rub up against me, just don’t ask me to assume any horizontal positions. That would be wrong.” (actually I think I paraphrased and said, “Because he is a Mormon girl’s wet dream,” but same difference…)

This is when I realize that Joanne has never heard of Mormons!!!! AND AND AND! She’s never SEEN the ever-creepy, awe-inspiring Mormon Temple of DC!!!!


HAVE YOU SEEN THAT THING?!? It’s like something outta Flash Gordon!!


3:45am Saturday night: Gillian, Joanne and I are driving in crazy circles with the top down, along windy, creepy-ass roads trying to break into the grounds of the Mormon temple.

We must have driven around for at LEAST half an hour circling the thing — which, by the way, is SHROUDED in a dense, SCARY-looking forrest of really tall, looming trees — with only the temple’s ominous blue glow to guide us.

Gillian starts making up stories about how maybe only the church members know how to get there, and how the forrest magically opens up to let them in.

Turns out really that there’s just a gate.

A gate that was OPEN.



Since we see a guard at the gate, Gillian says, “Oh well. We should come back at Christmas. I hear there’s a display.”

I say, “Huh. Well that was fun. Turns out you can’t see it any better from here than the beltway”

JOANNE says, “Well, DRIVE THROUGH THE GATE! We didn’t go through all that just to drive home, did we?”

Good point.

So, I turned around, sped up, and crashed past the gate of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

AMAZING. If you look on their site, I think the entire building is sheathed in MARBLE. It is one of the craziest buildings I have ever seen and HUGE!!! And Pointy! Creepy as ALL HELL!!! It’s like a GIANT FORTRESS! WITH PRETTY STAINED GLASS!. :)

Everytime I slowed down to get a better look, Gillian would freak out! She totally thought the Mormons were gonna git us!! Joanne was all like, “But look! There’s Jesus!, ” to which Gil cried, “I’m a JEW!” HA!

I’m pretty sure they’ve got my license plate # though, so if I suddenly disappear for 16 days and then reappear all manic and professing my love for Tom Cruise… oh wait, wrong cul…I mean, religion.

So now it’s about 4am and for whatever reason, we’re STILL not ready to go home, being all hopped up on our pseudo b&e experience.




three bored girls.


I KNOW! LET’S GO VISIT THE GIANT FIELD WITH THE RADIO TOWER!!! (becauuuuse why? Yeah, I don’t know. It was Gil’s idea. She said there would be deer.)

For the record, radio towers don’t look that cool close up. HOWEVER, we did have a racoon try to stare us down in the parking lot!! AND! There was an adorable little family of deer grazing in the field! Joanne was pressed to get closer, but NATURALLY scared the little fuckers away. She was all pissed, babbling something about how the lions in AFRICA didn’t run away, which OF COURSE made me go, “WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU DOING WALKING UP TO LIONS IN AFRICA!?!!?!?!”

Wanna know what she said?

“Well, they’d already eaten!”



My bad.

I have much to report on the Knitting/FO front, but I think I’ll save that for later.

Happy Monday, y’all.

* her words, not mine.

** Do you really think a straight boy would be a NUDE stripper at a gay strip bar, surrounded by endless gay porn? Me either.

*** Um, well, naked except for socks. YOU GOTTA PUT THE TIP SOMEWHERE, YO!