ok.

FIRST, SATURDAY, I was going to post this picture and ask my bug-savvy friends to help me indentify what in the HELL this little thing is because they appear to have invaded my home:

ew.

They’ve been hanging around the windowsill in the kitchen, routinely jumping to their deaths for a swim in Hayley’s water bowl. It wasn’t until I found them IN THE DINING ROOM AS WELL, on a windowsill that Hayley naps on frequently, AND when I noticed that they JUMP, that I started to think they were fleas. (They are not fleas.)

Needless to say, I spent that entire night itchy as all get out and having insane nightmares about insects.

THEN, SUNDAY, I was going to tell you the harrowing tale of a girl who was sitting at home with her cat, knitting and minding her own goddamn business when THIS thing decided to park itself next to her on the couch:

EW.

My heart stopped. I jumped at LEAST two feet in the air and screamed at the cat.

“HAY-LEEEEY!!!!!!!”

I don’t know what I thought she could do. Likely nothing. I think I just needed SOMEONE with which to share my horror.

I trapped it under a glass, put five heavy books over it and hid, locked in my bedroom with Hayls. HORRIFED.

Eventually, realizing that it would never suffocate under there and that it would either dig its way out OR Hayley would free it in an attempt to kill me, I bravely scooped it up (with a paper towel), walked it BLOCKS away from my apartment, and SQUISHED the ever-lovin’ SHIT out of it ’till it was no more than a crusty smear of bug guts on the pavement.

I called the apartment management office on MONDAY. I told them about the roach and the mysterious microscopic jumpers (which I now believe to be Springtails), and was assured that pest control would come out the next day and take care of it.

{{{phew}}}

YAY!

It’s aaalllll good.

So, TUESDAY. I’m having a good day. I booked a hotel in Paris today! WE’RE GOING TO PARIS! YAY! Right? Good day! It’s late, I just got off work, I’m practicing my French out loud to myself as I walk through the door. I might have EVEN been singing the French National Anthem.

“Allons en-fants de la patrieeee-uh, le jour de gloire eeeest arriv…”

…

See it?

…

NO?

NOW DO YOU SEE IT?

After I took this picture, Hayley came by and scared it down the garbage disposal, but not before I was able to smush *some* of it.

I’m SO not kidding when I say that after I smushed it, ALL THREE SEPARATE SEGMENTS OF IT LEFT ON THE PAPER TOWEL WERE STILL MOVING AND TWITCHING ON THEIR OWN.

Just as insurance, I turned on the disposal.

NOW, I’m going to cry.

ps – happy birthday holly. (and you too, jeffrey (1 day late).)

You might not want to hear this but…

I’ve been cheating.

{{shame}}

I told Adam about it and he’s actually being REALLY supportive!!!

I mean, why should a girl have to commit to just one craft?

(you totally weren’t buying that shit anyway…don’t act like I fooled you.)

For my 30th birthday (yes, really), my favoritest brother and sis-in-law gave me a SEWING MACHINE!!!!

YAY!!!

I am in love.

{{swoon}}

It’s not that I don’t love knitting (I DO! I DO!), but I this sewing business is SO FUN!

Lookit:

me and my new toy.

Just look at me go!!!

I called up my sew-savvy friend Seema and asked her to show me how to use it.

SEEMA!

We went on a fabric/pattern spree and then back to her place for a sewing marathon totally remnicent of Project Runway* (except that uh, 1, we didn’t finish and 2, there was no runway show. Also? Tim & Heidi weren’t there and neither one of us got eliminated. Apparently, it was nothing like PR at ALL. Especially since we didn’t actually design anything.)

We stayed up and worked unil 5am, peeps.

5am.

love? dedication? madness? who knows.

Regardless, here it is…my first FO!!!

MY SKIRT! It has a ZIPPER!!!!

In case you were wondering about the pretty thing hanging from my neck, here is a closer look at my other favorite birthday present:

He’s hot, he’s sweet AND he has taste in jewelery? Pinch me.

I have three other patterns and fabric and supplies to make 2 of them (hello? stash?). PLUS, I bought a reference book AND a cool book on how to tranform your old, big-ass t-shirts!! WAY COOL! It’s called Generation T and it will show you how to turn a t-shirt like this:

ugh.

Into a sexilicious halter like this:

HUZZAH!

YAY! SEWING!

I HAVE been knitting AND I almost have an FO (secret beige knit is *this* close!)…I promise!!! This weekend though, I think I might have to spend some QT with my new baby (the mechanical one, not the man one, unfortch. AND NOT THAT KIND OF MECHANICAL! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEANT!)

PS – TODAY IS ANNE MARIE’S BIRTHDAY!!! WOO HOO!! BIRTHDAY!!!

* Don’t even get me STARTED about Malan. So sad.

So, as you might have seen on somebody’s blog, I went on VA-CATION!!!

Adam, Anne Marie, Petey, the boys and I all drove up to the catskills for a little R&R.

We stayed in a very cute, very rustic little cabin in the middle of pretty much nowhere.

see how cute?!?

The cabin had a very cozy, very country decor. Most of it I found really cute. Some of it scared the ever-lovin’ bejeezus outta me. Witness:

yeah…

What is that thing draped over the dresser, you ask? TAKE A CLOSER LOOK:

AHHHH!!!

Exactly.

We put a pair of shorts over his head so we could sleep at night.

I got some quality time in with this little guy and his momma:

I think he liked me. He at least tolerated me.

I also got some time in with these guys:

and both of them fit in my Beetle!!! WHO SAYS IT CAN’T BE A FAMILY CAR?!!?!

And of course, there was lots of QT with this guy:

awwww

There was coffee drinking and dairy queen and donuts and pasta wars and flashlight games and movies and tractors and hammocks and lounging on the porch and knitting.

good times for sure