When I first learned to knit, I HATED it.
You know how, for some people, it’s all about the process? Yeah, NOT for me. For me, the process sucked. I just liked having knitted THINGS.
I loved that, somehow, by fiddling with a pair of sticks and some string, I ended up with an actual THING. One minute, I had yarn. The next? I had a mitten!
The first thing I ever made was a mitten. I had a friend who really missed these red chunky mittens that she’d lost and brilliant me figured I would MAKE her a pair for the holidays. The fact that I had no idea how to knit didn’t deter me. I ran out to Michael’s, picked up some red yarn, needles and a how-to book and went at it.
I remember sitting there, brow furrowed, fingers in a death grip around the needles, when my brother said to me, “I thought knitting was supposed to be relaxing. You don’t seem very relaxed…”
Yeah, NO KIDDING.
Eventually, I ended up with one red mitten. It was a two-needle mitten made from a pattern I’d found on the internet. I did see one for DPNs, but considering the fact that I had no idea how to knit AT ALL, those 4 tiny sticks looked like a nightmare to me. It was a cute mitten and I was proud of it. Soon after, a second mitten followed.
After that though, I decided that mittens took too long to make. By my rough estimate, each one, knit in worsted weight yarn, had taken me about 6 hours.
I wasn’t into the idea of more 12-hour mittens.
So, I went back to Michael’s and bought some REALLY CHUNKY yarn. I think I may have even made a SWATCH! Somehow, my little brain figured out how to alter the two-needle pattern for the chunkier gauge. 2 hours later, I had another mitten.
2 hours! YES!
Chunky mittens became my thing. The only thing I knit for three years was chunky mittens*. I didn’t make them because I *liked* knitting. I made them because I liked chunky mittens. (er, well, because I liked mittens. They were chunky because I was LAZY.)
Here are three things you should know about these mittens I used to make:
- They were made from acrylic yarn. Duh, Michael’s.
- My idea of ‘seaming’ was making sure side A was attached to side B, by whatever half-assed sewing means necessary. This was mostly not pretty.
- For three years, I knit through the back loop. Meaning, ALL my knits were TOTALLY twisted.
These were the exact type of mittens I gave my sister all those years ago. The ones she *never* wore.
The ugly mitten (left). A normal mitten (right)
The normal mitten on the right was made using the same yarn and the same pattern YEARS later. The only difference is that I modified the two-needle pattern so I could work it in the round and changed the seed stitch to ribbing. The normal mitten on the right is the sort of size of mitten a normal person would wear. I have no idea who would fit the mitten on the left.
Also? If you ever had any questions concerning the effects TWISTING one’s stitches would have on one’s knitting, I think the answer should be evident here. If not, this close-up should clear up any additional confusion:
Very twisted. Very not cute.
You might have thought I was exaggerating when I said I made my sister some ugly-ass mittens. You realize now that you would have been wrong, yes?
Word on the street is that the sis is loving her *new* mittens, so my knit karma has been restored and all is good and right in the world again. So, YAY!
Completely unrelated, This weekend I am actually going on a BUSINESS TRIP! (secretly, I always get a little jealous of all of you who get to jet off to here or there for work! no fair! I want to go too!) However, the only work I actually have to do on said trip is to ride the plane. LOL.
That’s right, my job this weekend is to *experience* air travel. Tough life, I know.
I’ll be flying out to San Francisco for the day (hey! 1 day is better than no days!), which is good timing as it keeps me from being INSANELY jealous that my co-workers’ “work trip” is a 4-day stay at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas. Yeah, they still have to wake up at 4am every morning, but boo-f’in-hoo, they’ll be in the BAHAMAS!
Anyway, so that’s that. Hope you all have a kick-ass weekend and thanks for sticking around
* and baby booties, but that’s another story. Those were ugly too.