If there is one thing you should *never* do, it is to wake me up and simultaneously annoy me.

Failing to heed my warning will result in behavior matched only by a certain possessed 12-year-old girl.

You think I exaggerate, but I’m totally serious. Head-spinning, green pea soup SERIOUS.

Don’t mess with me when I’m sleeping, yo.

Now, this can get funny IF the waker/annoyer happens to be an inanimate object. Like, saaay…a set of French Doors?

Sunday, I came home after work to find that the crazy winds here in MD had BLOWN MY FRENCH DOOR OPEN! Gaping. Open. Baaad.

When I called The Apartment Office, they basically told me I was SOL till the next morning. So, what’s a girl to do? I pushed my TV stand in front of the door to help minimize the problem and set my tired ass on the couch for some R&R.

Now, coincidentally, Sunday turned out to be the day that some RIDICULOUS winds were plowing through the area. With that in mind, this is how it went:

• I nestled into the couch, and covered myself with my warm down throw. Hayley found her nook and did the same.
• I started to fade out into slumberly bliss (it only takes a sec for me).
• Door blew open.
• I got up. I closed the door.
• Rinse.
• Repeat.

I could even TELL when it was going to happen!!! First there would be the sound of a wind tunnel getting louder and louder. THEN, the cat’s furry head would snap up, her eyes filled with terror, and she would make a run for it like her life depended on it (jumpy much?)! Sure enough, within seconds, the door would swing open and SMACK into my TV.

Considering this happened an UNCOUNTABLE AMOUNT OF TIMES and APPROXIMATELY EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, you can imagine the comedy that ensued.

Just picture me:

• Jumping off the couch in a firey fury to Karate Kick the door SHUT! REPEATEDLY! (the whole joint shook)
• Yelling at the cat to, “…STAY THE FUCK AWY FROM THE GODDAMNED DOOR! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ENGLISH?”
• Kicking the blanket around on the couch in what might have *seemed* like an epileptic fit, muttering obscenities.
• Angrily telling the wall that I Just. Want. To. SLEEEEEEEP. WHY!?!?!?!?!!?!?
• Calling Ebony to tell her voicemail how much I hate my f’in apartment, since the walll didn’t appear to be listening.
• Hiding under the throw, pretending that the cold, hurricane-like ‘breezes’ blowing past me were totally fine, because the alternative was to getthef#$kup and close the motherf#@ing door AGAIN.

Thankfully, the door is now fixed and peace has been restored to my world, but not without a DAMN FIGHT!

Wierdly enough, even though much time was spent on the couch at various points this weekend, NO KNITTING WAS DONE! In fact, I haven’t knit a stitch in over a week! Wierd!!!

Tomorrow afternoon I am going to take the Metro to DC to check out the National Cherry Blossom Festival for the first time since I’ve been in the area!! It’s supposed to be like 70° and super sunny — the perfect day to go*!!! I’ll be sure to bring my bittersweet yarn and hopefully then I will break my knitting hiatus!!

*except I just checked the website and I don’t even think the stupid trees are in bloom yet Kinda sucks as tomorrow is the only guaranteed nice day we’re gonna have this week and when the trees *are* in full bloom, it’s going to be RAINING. Oh well, still should be a nice day to go down there.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 5th, 2005 at 1:04 am and is filed under life, general. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.