SOOOO NOT!

Lemme preface this entry by sayin’ that I am NOT the jealous girlfriend type.

I’m not.

I have girlfriends who fuh-REAK OUT when it comes to their boys and other girls, but NOT ME.

I’m pretty level-headed.

Except.

Well, last summer I had a boyfriend who had just moved out to Los Angeles.

From what I gather from the stories he told me, Los Angeles women are CRAZY.

CRAZY AND HOT.

This boyfriend had an internship at a big-name recording studio out there and at the time, the Pussycat Dolls were recording an album.

THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS.

Have you seen the Pussycat Dolls? You know, the one-step-away-from-being-strippers-BURLESQUE-dancers-formerly-fronted-by-the-hot-as-shit-Carmen-Elektra-PUSSYCAT DOLLS? Right, those Pusycat Dolls.

Right about now, you might be asking yourself, “Why is she talking about some skank-ho dancers and a boyfriend she had like 8 months ago?”

Every Monday through Thursday night at 11pm, I do a feature on my show called “Sooooooooo HOT or Soooooooo NOT”. I play a brand new song and YOU call in and tell me whether you think it’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOT! or SOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT! (hence the title).

Tonight, I played a song called “Don’t Cha” by…

can you guess?

can ya?

DING!DING!DING! YES!!

THE MOTHER F’IN PUSSYCAT DOLLS.

Go ahead. Click on the link and listen to the song.

Back in the day, I would get calls from the bf where he’d tell me aaaalll about his day at the studio and how there were these girls there and they were all playing pool — only they didn’t know HOW, so they made him TEACH THEM!!!

No biggie for the non-jealous girlfriend. Piece of cake. They’re just playing pool.

Except.

Um.

DUDE.

These weren’t just ANY girls.

Dude?

These were PUSSYCAT DOLLS.

HOT-AS-SHIT BURLESQUE DANCERS!!

BURLESQUE DANCERS WITH NAMES LIKE CARMIT AND MELODY!!!!!!

CARMIT!!!

(did you click on Carmit and look at that girl? HOLY SHIT! Who names their daughter Carmit anyway? With that name, she was BORN a vamp!)

Must I say that the non-jealous girlfriend bit was dropped faster than Carmit’s dress on her 12th birthday?**

The whooooole point of this story is just to say that THANK GOD I HADN’T HEARD THE SONG UNTIL NOW.

(also, he should be glad he’s an EX now, or I might have unleashed some residual pussycat rage on his ass!!!)

ERASURE!

In other news, this weekend I’m heading up to NYC to see ERASURE @ IRVING PLAZA!!! YAAAAYYY!!! I’ll also get to see my momma for the first time since she had her surgery!!! It’s gonna be crazy because I think she’s lost like 40lbs ALREADY!!!!

Happy weekend all!!!

* He was a really GOOD boyfriend and sooo didn’t hook up with those skanks, BUT STILL!?!?!?! Can you just picture him leaning all over them trying to show them how to shoot? EW!

**Just trying to be snarky… HOWEVER, my conscience is making me add this little blurb about how Carmit is a very nice girl who, for all I KNOW, may still be as pure and virginal as a fresh white snow. In any case, she probably waited until at *least* puberty to show the boys her bits.

11 Responses to “SOOOO NOT!”

  1. Lolly Says:

    Pussycat Dolls… wow, I had never heard of them… and Carmit, what the hell is that name? Sounds like Kermit the muppet.

    Hmm… check out my blog for some info on meeting up at Sheep and Wool–I want to mee you! :) (No licking!) hahaha

  2. Rossana Says:

    Yeah, I agree with Lolly–no licking please. ;-p

    I hope you have a fantastic time at the Erasure concert! Give Momma a great big hug–that’s great news that she’s doing so well! Yay!

  3. Carrie Says:

    You are going to see ERASURE!!!! ACCCKKK! so jealous. SO jealous.

    I’m so glad to hear that your Momma is doing well! That’s so exciting!

    And the Pussycat Dolls…what the?!?!?! So, was it SOOOOOOOO hot, or SOOOOOOOOOOOOO not?

  4. Anne Marie Says:

    Whatever, your are way hotter than those sluts.

  5. Vicki Says:

    Sakes! Sounds like they wrote the song for you hehe. Ah the trashiness :)

  6. mat Says:

    too bad they suck ass…

    baby spice all the way man…

    dont front.

  7. Jenny Says:

    Um, why does it take like 9 of them to do that song? When only one is (maybe) singing? Methinks I’m onto something here…

  8. Andrea Says:

    Pussycat Dolls? I thought those were Bratz Dolls???

  9. Joanne Says:

    Carmit? That’s not such a vamp-hot name. How do you pronounce it? Is it Car-mit, as in, oven-mit? Or Car-mit, and in Ter-mite?

  10. Stacey Says:

    I totally want to hear the song…but I am in the library pretending to study right now. I will listen later. I had no idea they were putting out an album though. Odd.

    On a side note…I wish I lived in your area so I could hear you on the radio :)

  11. Chromatest Says:

    Gawd! That’s some awful crap right there. I’m glad that I work for an alt-rock station. Heck, even my country radio station plays better tripe than those tramps.