“Ma coeur est avec toi, Lara!”

Soooooo, um…I hired a personal trainer.

His name is Laurent.

It’s sort of a birthday pressie to meeee.

For one month, for one hour each week, he is going to kick my ass. THEN, he’s going to teach me how to kick my OWN ass so I can rock the gym by myself!

Why only a month?

heh.

Thaat’s about all I can afford, dude.

Shiiiiit.

There’s a REASON celebs look so damn good.

THEY HAVE MONEY!

Anyway, so ACTUALLY, I started this workout-business three weeks ago and seriously? HE SOOO WASNT KIDDING ABOUT THE ASS KICKING!

I worked out with Laurent on Monday and I woke up PARALYZED this morning!

My muscles were SOO weak after the workout, that, walking to the Whole Foods, I nearly fell down the steps TWO TIMES!

Walking to the printer just now was pain BEYOND pain!

PAIN BEYOND PAIN!

Laurent is French, so he tends to count reps and say other things to me in French while I’m working out. At one point, while I was huffing and puffing and whining and whimpering doing this lunge-walk thing that makes me wanna curl up and die a really painful death because ANYTHING is better than doing the lunge walk, he said somthing to me in the language of love (or hate, in this case). Apparently, my 6 years of French kicked in, because my head whipped around and snapped at him (in english), “Your heart is NOT with me so quit LYING!”



Do you see the glaze of defeat in my eyes?


Do you??


DO YOU?!?

MY ASS BETTER THANK ME FOR THIS!

15 Responses to ““Ma coeur est avec toi, Lara!””

  1. Stacey Says:

    Those eye close-ups ight give me nightmares tonight :/

    After all this working out, are there going to be close up pics of your ass next? ;)

  2. Cara Says:

    I so need a trainer. But my husband, who before this has never seemed jealous of anything, won’t let me get a guy trainer. Somehow I just don’t think a woman’s going to get me in the same shape as a guy.

    Lovin’ that your french kicked in – it’s a survival thing.

  3. Rossana Says:

    OW OW OW OW OW! But DAMN your ass will be so fine after these workouts! Not that I’m lookin’ yo. =)

  4. michelle Says:

    What ass? Really, is this about not being able to fit your tiny hiney in child-size seats? ;)

  5. Kate Says:

    You look like you’ve been hit by a truck in that pic :-) I agree with michelle…what ass? You are so tiny. Good luck with Laurent!

  6. paula Says:

    haha.. I can’t afford the trainer, so I did the cheaper running club.. just $35 (free tshirt!) but they’re gonna be kicking our asses up to TEN MILES to run this 10K in october. I think I’ll have to curl up and cry at some point. jeez- the 40 year olds with kid bellies are kicking my ass now! Wah.

  7. heather Says:

    scary. dude that was downright scary. I’m not going to be right for the rest of the day.

    Sidenote: Weedwacking also produces the same exhaustion, as I found out yesterday and it’s free. Wanna come over and help me? Bring Laurent. hehehe

  8. Vicki Says:

    Wow, what a present. One month of torture lol. I need to get my big butt to a gym. A gym membership alone can be pretty damn expensive. I’m sure your ass will thank you, once you can feel it again ;)

  9. Anne Marie Says:

    Why in the hell are you working out? You should just spend that money on some boxes of twinkies or moonpies that’ll fatten you up.
    PS Everyone hates the french. Do they have sexy latino workout trainers up you way?

  10. Joanne Says:

    I feel no pity for you … ye who has 2 perfectly functioning ACLs! HAHA!

    I have not seen you in ages either … I really should go to work more often. ;)

  11. Silvia Says:

    Remember, we all loved your ass before Laurent…I see those folks at my gym doing the lunge walk with weights as I pedal away madly and thank heaven it’s not ME!

  12. Kel Says:

    Tell Laurent he should get son cul suffering avec toi instead of son coeur and you’ll feel a lot better ;)

  13. Carrie Says:

    oh my god…those pictures of you. have. me. laughing so hard. you are a hottie now, so after Laurent has his way with you, you will be unstoppable.

  14. Jenny Says:

    I miss you tremendously – you are so hilarious! The ass kicking is worth it. His corazon is with you, it is. ;-) Anyhoo, Happy happy birthday belated! Hope it was good!

  15. frecklegirl Says:

    Ohmygosh. I am trying not to giggle a bit at those pictures- really trying! You are too cute though.

    Bath may help?