The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Gas Stations
Last night, I was driving to work from Knitty Meetup and my gas light was on. Actually, my gas light had BEEN ON for the last 10 miles of my drive TO Knitty Meetup.
I needed gas. Badly.
So, I pulled into the Chevron and started pumpin’.
Do de doo de doooooo. Pumpin’ Gas…
I had rolled down the window and cranked up the stereo so I could keep listening to my CD (The Fray). Thus, I didn’t notice anything ODD at FIRST. Then I started to hear it…
Instead of MUSAK pumping out the pump speaker, I heard a VOICE.
A woman.
She was talking about how she’d lost her way. She was 28 and lost and had no idea how to get her life on track. She had searched and searched, but nothing helped. It had never occurred to her before to try WALKING WITH JESUS.
JESUS, people. COMIN’ OUT OF THE GAS PUMP.
It was at this time* that I noticed that, even though I’d been pumping gas for about 5 minutes, at $1.69 a gallon, I HAD ONLY GOTTEN $4 WORTH OF GAS!
Hmmm. What an oddly slow pump that coincidentally(?!) allowed me to spend even MORE time hearing about how Jesus might make my life complete!
I mean, WHAT THE HELL? Had I tripped and fallen on the bible belt? WHAT IN THE NAME OF SATAN WAS GOING ON?
Then I saw it.
The Marquis.
Right next to the gas prices.
“EASTER IS MORE THAN JUST SOMETHING TO DYE FOR.”
Had you been there, you TOTALLY would have been able to tell that I was completely freaked out. I was in the Twiglight Zone waiting for the ominous voice over. I was on punk’d, on the lookout for Ashton. I was I don’t KNOW what, but you could see it all over my face and I was gettin’ the HELL outta there!
I pumped a total of $10 and left that place faster than you could say HEATHEN.
Soo wierd.
Speaking of religious experiences though, last Friday I bought THE MOST FABULOUS SHOES I HAVE EVER BOUGHT EVER:
I love them the MOST.
So much I would MARRY them. In sickness and in health. I love them.
Also? I picked something to knit! This is it:
Can’t say what it is though.
I am also taking Jess’ advice and knitting something for S$W! I am going to make it in Debbie Bliss Cathay. Tuesday I was really stressed out about it because I was having trouble getting gauge and THEN I was having trouble finding the needle I needed! :\ However, today I stopped by Woolwinders and guess what?
They didn’t have it either.
BUT!
Jacqui LENT me a pair!
HOW F’IN COOL IS SHE?!?!?!
Tomorrow, I cast on! WOOT!
* It was ALSO at this time that I noticed the paper sign next to the credit swiper…the one that suggested visiting “Kevin’s** Heaven” Mini Mart if you needed a snack. Yeeeaaaah…
** it might not have actually been Kevin, but it was SOMEONE’S HEAVEN. I forget.
April 6th, 2006 at 9:10 am
I’m all for having strong beliefs in things, but seriously, no need to push those beliefs on others. Scary times at the gas pump for you.
April 6th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Ohhhh. we make fun of those wackos every time we pass by! We refuse to buy their gas! They probably slow the pump so they can deliver more “messages”.. AGH!
April 6th, 2006 at 9:23 am
My step-sister and I met two guys in a skating rink when we were in middle school. Their names were Kevin and Stevie and they quickly became “Kevin Heaven” and “Stevie Wonder”. So, the Kevin’s Heaven Mini Mart cracked me up. Talk about a captive audience, it’s kinda hard to go somewhere when you really need gas! How crazy!
April 6th, 2006 at 9:37 am
Too funny! Love the shoes!!
April 6th, 2006 at 9:46 am
OMG, and I thought *I* lived in the middle of the bible belt . . . but I’ve never had anyone try and preach to me through the gas pump. Weird.
April 6th, 2006 at 9:52 am
How hilariously strange! I need to know where the gas station in question is so I can be sure NOT to go there.
And your shoes are the superfantastic - did you mean to have a big “TRASH” sign right next to your ankle in the picture?!?!
The shoes, they are not the trash!
April 6th, 2006 at 10:30 am
That gas station bit is fucked up.
Great shoes!
April 6th, 2006 at 11:02 am
Dude. Where was that gas station? I need to know where to avoid.
Rock star shoes!
April 6th, 2006 at 11:55 am
Where’d you get those rockin’ shoes?????
April 6th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
OMG!!!! Gas is only $1.65!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s $2.75 here in CA,so I’ll just assume that was a typo.
I think you should wear your INCREDIBLY fabulous shoes to the gas station just to show them how not in need and lost you are…I mean…sparkle wedge heels! Very hot.
April 6th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
WOW! See, now, that’s why I love living in New Jersey. Illegal to pump your own gas!
April 6th, 2006 at 2:51 pm
THAT is so surreal. WACKtapular. You have the best situations.
Love those shoes. And whatever you are making in Mission Falls.
April 6th, 2006 at 4:29 pm
ooooh, so those are them. i look forward to borrowing — ahem — i mean seeing them. i think i still have your black heels…
April 7th, 2006 at 11:19 am
OMG I have GOT to go there! That’s the funniest religo-thang I’ve heard in a long time. Talk about a captive audience.
Can I be a bridesmaid at the marraige of you and your sparkly espadrilles?
April 7th, 2006 at 11:42 am
Now that is effed up! But your description of the events was hilarious. I would have bugged out of there too.
April 8th, 2006 at 7:56 pm
I’d marry those shoes.
Were you at the Our Lady of Exxon in Roslyn?
April 9th, 2006 at 12:28 am
Dude- you just escaped! That is so crazy…
LOVE the shoes!!
I am hoping to have a fabulous Somewhat Cowl to wear at MS&W. Do we know what we are doing about the hotel yet? Making decisions is, like, so hard.
April 17th, 2006 at 11:17 am
$1.69!!!!!! The whole lot could come out and preach to me for a price that low. Gas was as high as $3/gallon in Richmond and Hampton Roads this weekend - yikes!
Tanya