A Letter.

Dear Apartment Complex Where I Live,

In the four months we have been together, I have really tried to like you.

I forgave you for tricking me into thinking my apartment was going to be ABOVE ground level. 203 means SECOND floor, right? And SECOND floor isn’t usually ground level!!! Not USUALLY… But hey, it’s cool. Honestly. It’s ok.

Also? I’ve never said a WORD to you about the crazy high-heel wearing woman who lives upstairs and the very, very powerful subwoofer she got for Christmas. It’s all part of apartment living, right? Even at 2am! No problem.

I think it’s an interesting challenge how, now matter HOW HIGH I set the thermostat, the apartment stays at a constant 65°…FASCINATING really…The mental energy it takes for me to wrap my little head around that one is enough to keep me warm through the cold, cold winter nights. Besides, I LIKE writing $200 checks to the gas company. It’s refreshingly CLEANSING to shed myself of money like that.

I don’t even really complain about how my showers are always a 5 minute race between myself and the hot water! CONSERVATION! Doin’ the environment good. Al Gore would be proud!

And for the record, I think sunlight is highly overrated. I personally prefer the dark, gloomy cave-like ambience my apartment tends to take on. It’s like I’m wrapped up in an ice-cold WOMB of darkness. It’s beautiful. Really. Wow.

But yesterday?

YESTERDAY, when you TOWED MY CAR because the tags had expired, causing me to THINK MY CAR HAD BEEN STOLEN?!?!?!?! CAUSING ME TO SIT IN A LITTLE BALL on your doorstep, BAWLING like a 5 year old?!!?!?!?!


I don’t think we can be friends anymore.

ps – you owe me $250.

10 Responses to “A Letter.”

  1. Stacey Says:

    Ugh! That sucks! They can randomly tow your car if the tags are expired? Uh oh…

  2. Rossana Says:

    WOWZA! I’m so sorry your car got towed. GRRRR!

    Ermmm…So I’m guessing you won’t renew your lease there?

  3. Laundro Says:

    big poopie juice. :(

  4. Carrie Says:

    DUDE. that sucks so bad. this past year was the first year I renewed my tag on time since I’ve started driving…but that has never happened to me. So sorry, schmoo!

  5. paula Says:

    whoa! that really sucks!

    we’re gonna have to haul our stuff up three flights of stairs to move in, but? so worth it… no wackos in clogs above us!

  6. Samantha Says:

    That really sucks! I’d be po’ed for sure!

  7. Jenna Says:

    If you’re interested in moving to the city, my apartment is available. It has its own hot water heater…although it is also at ground level and gets most of its light from the back….Sorry for your frustration, it’s the worst when you don’t feel comfortable in your own home.

  8. Mia Says:

    Um, in most states it is illegal to tow a car with expired tags if it is on private property. And the parking lot of an apartment complex is considered private property. But I would be taking a closer look at my lease though.

  9. Joanne Says:

    Aw Lara, I’m so sorry to hear about your apartment complex woes! Down with slum lords!

    I’d forgotten how you can make just about anything, sound funny tho. You’re cool like dat. ;)

  10. frecklegirl jess Says:

    OH MAN!

    Getting your car towed just sucks. I HATE IT. What tag expired? This seems like an excuse for a good old complaint letter to me.