Soon, you’ll be an OLD HAG!

Makeovers. NOOOOOOT my most favorite thing in the world. You’d think they WOULD be because ooooooooooh, the possibilities! The COLORS! The SPARKLES! the LIP GLOSS! You walk in looking like a truck hit you and you walk out (supposedly) magically transformed into a being of superior beauty (or, uh, at least…looking better than usual!)!!

But. Oh. No.

*I* go in looking like a truck hit me and walk out crying, trying to hide and unbelieveably anxious to get home and SCRUB THAT CLOWN SHIT OFF MY FACE!

Thus, with these concerns in mind, in addition to wedding-concerns relating to the recent thinning of my wallet, I turned down the bride’s offer to have my makeup done the day of The Wedding. I can do it myself! AND BETTER! HA!! Um, except I can’t. Seriously. I don’t OWN makeup. I don’t really know what to DO with it!

I made a decision. It had to be done. I dreaded the outcome, but I had no choice. I had to go get…..are you ready…?


The thought of it sent shivers down my spine, but there was no other option! I needed SOMEONE with SKILLS to help me! I woke up early this morning, I called the Sephora in the nearby mall, made an appoinment and off I went!

There was a moment (or two or three) during the process that I was convinced it was all going so horribly horribly horribly wrong, but you know what? A funny thing happened…IT ACTUALLY ENDED UP LOOKING DAMNED GOOD!

If you’re ever in Maryland and in need of a makeover, look up Seema at the Sephora in Montgomery Mall. She does weddings freelance and she ROCKS! I like Seema. Seema saved me :)

H O W E V E R.

There is one phrase I wish NOT to be uttered in my presence ever, EVER again:

“Do you use eye cream? You’re pushing 30. You need to use it. It’s the first thing I noticed.”

Hey Seema? Fuck off.

6 Responses to “Soon, you’ll be an OLD HAG!”

  1. daniel. Says:

    you need a makeover from carmindy!!! and while you’re at it….let nick arrojo do your hair. ;)

  2. mat Says:

    dude, that sephora store STINKS!!!

    the stank is full-on…

  3. Carrie Says:

    no, she did NOT say that about the eye cream. I would’ve jabbed her in the eye with a mascara wand.

  4. michelle Says:

    That is crazy! Don’t worry about her – she is just trying to sell you something – probably won’t be there for long if that is her technique.

    I gave you a shout out on my blog – check it out!

  5. chelsea Says:

    um, hello? What is the very *best* thing about other people’s makeovers??? THE AFTER PIC… [taps foot impatiently] …your fans are dying to see.

    Are you gonna be wedding-ing all weekend?

  6. Holly Says:

    See, this is why I don’t do makeovers… I’ll take it all home and try it there. (Of course, that would be why the bf thinks I have too much, lol.) I would have so told her to fuck off and then hurt her – it wouldn’t have mattered how fab I looked. LOL!! How was the wedding? I’m sure you looked fab hon! Even without the eye cream… I wonder what she would have said about me… 30 is really just around the corner for me and I don’t use eye cream! ;)