You have mail.
I checked my buddy list. He’s on.
He’s been on for 54 minutes.
One click, and I can talk to him.
I can tell him about the compliment I got at work. I can tell him how I’ve been volunteering. I can talk to him about how frustrated I am over the election. I can tell him about my knitting adventures. I can tell him what Hayley’s been up to and ask him how he’s been.
With one click, I can unravel two months of healing.
I’m staring at his name.
I’m signing off.
I’m going to go to sleep to dream of how it might have turned out differently.
November 5th, 2004 at 11:24 am
ouch!
November 5th, 2004 at 11:42 am
Way to go. I know it’s hard, but you’re doing things right.
November 5th, 2004 at 4:01 pm
You did the right thing. Be strong girl!!! You can do it!!
November 6th, 2004 at 7:30 am
Strength and healing, you’re on your way. Hugs to you! And thanks for your warm thoughts! =)
November 6th, 2004 at 11:12 pm
been there, done that, and did the click instead of the logging off. trust me - you’re better off logging off. actually, you might be better off doing what i did - completely changing user names and removing him from your buddy list to minimize contact with him whatsoever. then again, maybe it’s just me who’s too weak to resist temptation ….
November 7th, 2004 at 9:05 pm
Glad you didn’t…I’d most certainly take him off the buddy list, chica…
November 8th, 2004 at 9:07 am
Lara, thank you so much for the comment you left on my blog. I was really touched that you would share your story with me. I keep hoping that Santi will realize he screwed up and want me back…but I don’t think that will ever happen because he is an immature asshole. But I think I am getting better because now I want him to want me back so I can say NOOOOOO! (And them of course wonder if I made a huge mistake) AND about the 54 minutes…You did the right thing. I’m the only person in the world not on IM (so I don’t know how it all works) but can you remove him from your buddy list? I know how hard it will be, but I’m sure it’s torture to see him on IM and wonder who and what he is writing.
PS Carrie took me to the mall yesterday and I spent an obscene amount of money on tight jeans…it made me feel better! You should shop
November 8th, 2004 at 1:40 pm
Way to go Lara. You can do it!!! There is a special someone just for you.
Cause you are special. 
Meow! I should know…you’re related to me.
November 8th, 2004 at 2:04 pm
good for you. take his name out of your buddy list. that’s what I had to do last time my heart was really broken. then you don’t even have to look at his name and feel bad.
November 9th, 2004 at 7:47 pm
Oh, girlfriend, I’ve *so* been here! I still remember it exactly as you write it, too. Someday there will be someone in your life who will want to hear every little detail of your life every day forever. Seriously. Hang in there! Off to lick old wounds . . .
October 30th, 2005 at 12:14 pm
hi!
why I can not do a post?